Amid speculations surrounding his lack of appearances and disappearances at training sessions, cristiano zhipengo has finally decided, after his lengthy hangover, to address his critics.
"i don't... party that much," slurred a heavy-lidded zhipengo, his head dropping off in a video interview. "i just wanna sic be close to babes, maybe sic sip abit of bloody mary... dance around abit, shake my lil' sic ass. yeaaa man, chill. i'm a young dude. i know... hoberto mancini has sic , like, talked to me quite a few times."
"i don't wanna be misunderstood. i have feelings too." said the nifty winger, who took a break to puke before continuing. "i'm a young dude sic. my birthday's not till late in the year. look at people like nemanjang weedic and cesc fatzegas. they are more mature 'cos they are like, half. a year older? half a year is four months, or sic.. six months. that's a long while, like twenty parties... i mean sic weekends."
the video then ended abruptly when a high pitch voice was heard. eerie stuff. when the team was called, a spokesman said that zhipengo was going though a rough patch, and that though most, like 99.99999999999 percent of the population saw ord (free transfer release from SAF) as a blessed sign of deliverance, zhipengo was drowning himself in sorrow. the spokesman then concluded that the loan deal was not going well as thought, and that things would be better once zhipengo completed his transfer during february.
meanwhile ronaldinho tay has began to write his first book, titled "ronnie, tay and the bing lang mei(s)", following his publicity trip in taiwan. trying to show the literary side of him in an attempt to remove the tarnish of past scandals, tay tried to charm the taiwan maidens above 18 so as to remove his paedophilic nature.
"love me, for me, and not the true me," pleaded tay in an emotional interview. some reporters were moved to tears by his spellbounding acting, as tay did his trademark ripping off of his tight shirt, showing off his chiselled muscles.
more details will be in the book, which will be published shortly. many predict the novel to be an instant hit with sex addicts and lonely old ladies.
keeper 'safe hands' edwee wee der leong has lost his handphone. police have deduced that it could have been stolen by young amorous fans, or 'the gay little fag down the street'. while the valuable trophy has been lost, team officials have urged team members to contact wee der leong tomorrow to bridge contact once again.
onaseriousnote: if no one planning we rest this sun. wee leong got exams. i got party. lol.
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