wee der leong apologises

wee der leong had call for an urgent press conference early this morning to address the heavy criticism of his performance in the team’s previous match. he had chose to remain silent for almost a week after he was lobbed twice in a match which see his team conceding an outrageously high number of balls in one day.

"hello everybody, first of all I will like to tell everybody that being lobbed in matches is my weakness. right from the beginning goalkeeping career in the Team BPGHS, i have a history of being lobbed by opponents." the rest of the team, most notably zhipengo, roberto conjing carlos and ronaldinho tay nodded their head vigorously and uninamously upon hearing that. wee der leong turned and gave them a cold stare before they stopped nodding.

wee der leong was lobbed in the middle of the game by a romanian who played like the legendary hagi, full of skills but lacking sportmanships in his aspect of the game. wee der leong was left fuming as he was left in no-man’s land after he charged out in an ‘one-on-one’ situation.

he cited, “ of all people why must i concede to somebody like him!?! he’s such a …..” At this point of time, manager hoberto mancini stoop in and interrupted “uh-erm, excuse me wee der leong!”

wee der leong then finished his sentence by saying “ he’s such a skillful player.” he stayed silent for a few seconds before bursting out “ I THINK HE PLAYED CHEATCODE!!! HE ENTERED A CHEATCODE WHICH MADE ME AND DIAFA CLASHED INTO EACH OTHER SO THAT HE CAN SCORE!!!” mancini was left embarrassed by the lack of gamesmanship in his custodian, as he struggled to hoax wee der leong into calmness by giving him some of his favorite sweets.

later on the match, wee der leong drew flaks again by distributing poorly and was punished heavily when the opposing striker lobbed him in a way that exudes pure class. wee der leong’s positioning was being put into the limelight after two high profile mistakes.

“i think it’s the glove’s fault! with the gloves, i can’t distribute well! NIKE should have manufacture gloves that allows proper ball distribution!” the crowd of reporters was all left bemused by such comments, and one reporter was heard shouting, “it’s the goalkeeping who wears the gloves that makes the difference!” wee der leong was obviously agitated by the comment but he did put his best to stay calm.

In the Q & A section, one reporter asked that he had observed that opposition goalkeepers did not have to dive here and there and conceded lesser goals, and he wonders why wee der leong keep conceding after numerous dives which left him two bruised elbows.

wee der leong answered in a nonchalant manner.

“people say that a good goalkeeper don’t dive as much, but I am different, I like to dive! In our line, we cant dive to get people sent off so we dive to entertain ourselves, if not I will be bored to death at the back. So lets see diving as a form of dance!”

another reporter also questioned the goalie about the rumour that wee der leong’s teammates were unhappy at the lack of command at the back by him.

upon hearing that wee der leong continued to sprout rubbish, " i think the FIFA should allow goalkeepers to bring loudhailers onto the pitch. after all we are suppose to give commands to the defence, without that, we will have hard time screaming at our defenders! i think i will go mute one day at this rate, even though my defenders think I am whispering to them.”

“ loudhailers can also be used to hit the defenders if they do wrong! if i make a mistake, the defenders can also use the loudhailer to whack me! isnt it good? i think it’s a brilliant way to build the goalkeeper- defenders bond which is always neglected by people in football through this method,” he added, with maliangadou diafa and walter sumuel clasping their hands in glee in the background.

at the end of the press conference, wee der leong also expressed delight that his manager labels him as ‘safe hands’, which drew direct comparison between him and his idol david seaman.

“he has history for being lobbed so do i!” he concluded.

in the mean time, the ex-BPGHS custodian is believed to be busy preparing for his autobiography named ‘butter-hands between sticks’ and so he will not be available for matches in the time being.

zhipengo = party animal

Amid speculations surrounding his lack of appearances and disappearances at training sessions, cristiano zhipengo has finally decided, after his lengthy hangover, to address his critics.

"i don't... party that much," slurred a heavy-lidded zhipengo, his head dropping off in a video interview. "i just wanna sic be close to babes, maybe sic sip abit of bloody mary... dance around abit, shake my lil' sic ass. yeaaa man, chill. i'm a young dude. i know... hoberto mancini has sic , like, talked to me quite a few times."

"i don't wanna be misunderstood. i have feelings too." said the nifty winger, who took a break to puke before continuing. "i'm a young dude sic. my birthday's not till late in the year. look at people like nemanjang weedic and cesc fatzegas. they are more mature 'cos they are like, half. a year older? half a year is four months, or sic.. six months. that's a long while, like twenty parties... i mean sic weekends."

the video then ended abruptly when a high pitch voice was heard. eerie stuff. when the team was called, a spokesman said that zhipengo was going though a rough patch, and that though most, like 99.99999999999 percent of the population saw ord (free transfer release from SAF) as a blessed sign of deliverance, zhipengo was drowning himself in sorrow. the spokesman then concluded that the loan deal was not going well as thought, and that things would be better once zhipengo completed his transfer during february.


meanwhile ronaldinho tay has began to write his first book, titled "ronnie, tay and the bing lang mei(s)", following his publicity trip in taiwan. trying to show the literary side of him in an attempt to remove the tarnish of past scandals, tay tried to charm the taiwan maidens above 18 so as to remove his paedophilic nature.

"love me, for me, and not the true me," pleaded tay in an emotional interview. some reporters were moved to tears by his spellbounding acting, as tay did his trademark ripping off of his tight shirt, showing off his chiselled muscles.

more details will be in the book, which will be published shortly. many predict the novel to be an instant hit with sex addicts and lonely old ladies.


keeper 'safe hands' edwee wee der leong has lost his handphone. police have deduced that it could have been stolen by young amorous fans, or 'the gay little fag down the street'. while the valuable trophy has been lost, team officials have urged team members to contact wee der leong tomorrow to bridge contact once again.


onaseriousnote: if no one planning we rest this sun. wee leong got exams. i got party. lol.

So did u all play samba style?

haha read the prev post u guys dint play a lot of long balls that's good so did u all play the samba way instead ? haha ....ronniebest

no match review; only a positive one

the opposition had two teams, both with outside players, so i'm really at a loss how to write a review. the truth is i'm very glad we pulled through without four key players, more explicitly our only two true forwards and two true defenders. that we beat them, and the romanian 'semi-pro' was a testament to the team's overall strength.

one thing to emphasize was that the long ball tactic was not used, only for a few minutes when an unsettling effect was needed. and more importantly, the team ethic was there. everyone fought for each other, tracked back when required. for me, i think the goals weren't important; the process was.

i think the team jersey put on hold first. play a few more, till everyone can make it. it's a special event in my opinion, and no one should miss out.

next game is this sun. any ideas?

friendly on 21st january, sunday
venue: NIE futsal court
match time: 0945
water parade: 0845
opponents: bunk3 watchyourfront

alas, tay is in taiwan taking on some money making scheme. it's his match, and leo's, but teamwatchyourfront insisted on the match. and i believe this team can carry on without tay. we should try; however indispensable someone is, this is still a team. there is no 'i' in 'team', and i think it should apply to us too.

currentsituation: line-up without tay for the very first time. wee leong in goal; sum and liangfa the rearguard, with birthday boy yewtze in his usual role. flanking will be zhipeng and leonard. congjing ready as supersub, bob and me ready if anything arises.

opponents: if you want a past experience, they are a physical team. technical-wise not bad. their dm is some aj soccer player reputably quite good. yewtze needs to clamp down on him. their star is undoubtly kanu, a skillful forward who brings new meaning to the word lethal. a couple of decent centre backs in xianghui and lionel, strong and fast. the rest i'm not too concerned. btw xianghui says he's bringing his relatives, so i'm not sure what he is up to. messy. probably tay can be back for the rematch.
refer to www.bunk3watchyourfront.blogspot.com for more details.

objective: i think most will be surprised: how come leo's upfront? why isn't congjing taking his place on the right? i would like to emphasize: leo is not replacing tay. leo is leo, tay is tay. we need leo's qualities upfront for this match. strat: defensive. sum and liangfa please coordinate; one going up means the other remains behind. sum will mark kanu. yew tze same role, but leo try to help out in defense. will change tactics accordingly to match progress. trust me on this. we will win this with teamwork, nothing else.

conclusion: let's just try.

ronaldinho tay - paedophile too?

report - less than a month after lashing out on leo chunavaro on his indiscrete paedophillic philandering ways, ronaldinho tay has unwittingly professed the he too, likes 15-year old girls.

despite adverse weather conditions, the team (still nameless cb), the half the team still turned up for a training session at the vin condo stadium, only to be greeted by this shocking piece of news that will surely shred tay's 'commitment to team, not church' vow to bits.

tay was quoted as saying "you see ah, those girls are only like, twelve? thirteen? and they have already bags of experience in relationship problems. so i think their maturity should not be questioned. also, if you put it this way, fifteen is older than thirteen, which makes them MORE mature. i think you guys get my point la."

surely this is the reason why tay and leo have made up so quickly after the initial outburst. experts have given their expert point of view, saying that the spat was 'most probably a publicity stunt', and that 'ronaldinho tay could have a few teenaged girls in his closet'. as for tay's declaration speech "no matter what, training comes before anything. soccer is like bread and water and sex to me. i will skip even church to fulfil my commitment to the club", it's anyone's guess why there was a 'sex' word inside.

hoberto mancini has been remarkably calm so far, with only the words of advice, "please use precautions."


onaseriousnote: loved today's session, hope yuxian and congjing can reproduce today's form in actual matches. bob seems okay liao, i think. leo, steady as usual; wee leong's enthusiasm is infectious. looks like, with the addition of sum and yew tze, and maybe liangfa, this is gonna be the core liao. guess commitment from the rest will come after their activities.

wed to queensway.

attn: dudes

i apologise for this late message; i've been terribly busy with my own personal stuff, and prioritising just doesn't work in these instances. but anyway regarding tomorrow i've just smsed several of you guys. personally i think we should make the trip to queensway and settle our team jerseys, but since most are either 1) not responsive or 2) forgot about it, maybe we'll let it drag a 'lil longer.

- if we're talking about playing tomorrow, vin's house seems a very good place since it's near everyone. but it's very far for sum. so we'll try and settle by tonight. the weather's not fantastic, so please take care of yourselves. so far bob, yuxian, leo, congjing, zhipeng, wee leong are okay.

- yew tze's birthday next week. who is interested in going, never mentioned it here. not very nice to dao his offer; at least say yes or no. that includes me, so sorry fatzegas.

- match against bunk3watchyourfront, i'm sorry yuxian, leo's settling that not me. i'm trying to organise a good one against some ntu futsal team. i think no one has any opponents as usual so i'm not gonna repeat. we play carebears and nie legends again though.

- is it possible to establish a calling network? will talk to you guys tomorrow regarding this.

- team name, people.


time we broke the fourth wall.

diafa signs; bob says nono to cheerleader role

barely a week after declaring the end of transfers sagas, hoberto 'bai kar' mancini has sheepishly unveiled the latest team signing - maliangadou diafa.

diafa had been in the midst of speculation for a few weeks, with teams vying for his signature, as well as his catchy phrase 'i got lobangs on sundays one you know', giving him an untouchable aura. however, having played with him in the past, hoberto mancini knew it was too good an opportunity to miss, and has therefore signed him on loan for an undisclosed period of time.

"maliangadou and i played together when we were teenagers," said the manager (though everyone present looked disbelieving) "it's true okay! he always played shirtless, and banged me to the ground when i wasn't injured" (someone laughed in the background) "okay okay. basically he's very versatile, strong, fast with good ball control. though he has somewhat whitened abit, the physical strength is still there okay. you all saw what happened to the vietnamese."

diafa still has a contract with the saf to fulfil, hence it is to be seen whether he will stay on. former njc fc teammates ronaldinho tay and cesc fatzegas have voted to keep the tough guy, but the personal decision is still up to diafa himself. like larsson to man utd, it could go either way - good or great.

with edwee wee der leong, maliangadou diafa becomes the second high profile signing in the jan transfer window. ho mancini has wisely decided not to comment on any more transfer speculations, except that 'a new forward would be nice'.


b.gerrard: "i will recover... i hope."

bobby gerrard has quashed rumours of an early retirement. the hard ball midfielder has been nursing a loose knee since the match against the nie legends, and this is cause for worry.

"yea, it's been rather loose lately," said bob, swinging his leg about carelessly at the press conference.

"at the moment, i can't really shoot, though i'm not supposed to tell opposition defenders that. aiyah, no gerrard, at most i become gianluigi bobfon lor. don't worry, to all my fans, especially the female ones. i'll be hanging around for now." reassuring words indeed.

"being a cheerleader is great, but.. it's not my cup of tea."

the team begs to differ.

match report
score: Vietnam Select 3 [Name]Less 6
scorers: tay 2, yewtze 2, zhipeng 2
attendance: 27.000

review: with no opponents in mind, the team found themselves against a group of players speaking gibberish. upon further hearing and valiant attempts at communication, it was deduced that these dudes were indeed from the far away land of vietnam. having tasted only local delights so far, the team took on the biggest challenge so far - a team of technically gifted players from the neighbours up north.

the team's two new signings, wee leong and versatile defender/dm liangfa, were eager to prove themselves, and thus started in the backline, with the ever dependable sum as part of the rearguard. yewtze found his way to the middle of the battlefield, flanked by tay and the return of zhipeng on the left.

as mentioned, the opponents were unlike those of any of our previous encounters. for one thing, the vietnamese were terribly quick with their feet, played decisive passing and packed venom in their shots. the team found themselves on the back foot, with zp and tay being pressed back. however, this did not last for long, as the team's proposed strategy of attack was soon brought into equation. sum and liangfa soon provided the foil for our attacking play to spread out, and the tide was turned into one gargatuan wave of vengeance which engulfed the vietnamese (i'm saying this 'cos i can't recall the match proceedings)

can't really recall the goals too, except yewtze's shots from range, one delightful blast from far, zhipeng's two placed shots, and tay's two kio sais. when the team was on fire, it was really mesmerizing to watch. bob and leo played a significant part in defence, while jx had only a nice cut-in in five minutes of action.

manofthematch: yewtze
linked up the play between defence and attack beautifully. battling a stomach flu (or so he says), the pesky dm was at the heart of every build-up, and was often the one taking the shot.

quoteofthematch: "ren2 bu4 ke3 mao4 xiang4" liangfa's exclamation at zp being 'the aj player who trained his left foot using weights. got reputation lor.

conclusion: what can i say? we're getting somewhere. kudos to liangfa, but paiseh, sum has no. 3 liao.

this will be my last update till the next match, so if you guys don't respond have to sms me liao. i might get tired in the future, but for now everything's burning hot, i can feel the passion, the team bond starting to form. the spark's still burning; how can i blow it out?

anyway skipping the emotional crap, it's nice to see someone else posting an entry. despite us playing the arsenal style (wingers [henry and van persie] playing along the rhythm of one playmaker [fabregas], with adventurous centre backs[leo and to a lesser extent sum]), i would prefer to win like man utd. but since it's impossible, let's just lose and become a more flamboyant team. lose with style man. man utd wins with style, but we don't have saha, darn it [think tay as rooney, zp as ronaldo, weedic as vidic, congjing as scholes, leo as ferdinand or richardson].


important stuff now, so listen up.


please tell me whether sun or sat is a better time. because now tay and leo both have stated that they want sunday.

numbers as of today (i think)

yuxian (20), zhipeng (7), jx (14), leo (25), bob (11), yew tze (4), congjing (18), wee leong (13), sum (3), wee theng (17) [i need to ask marcus if he wants to join, sigh]. no. 10 who wants?? jersey name please don't use the names i thought up. put something resembling ur name, or whatever nick names you guys have.

thinking of going down queensway soon, and the more people the merrier.

this sun as usual the valiant attempt to get every member together.

let's encourage active posting

hmm we cant jus let our manager post himself...this is supposed to be a group blog if no members blog it will be down sooner or later jus imagine a newspaper that has no readers.let's post even thou u have no particular thing in mind(that's wat i'm feeling now)......


it's seems that we have a couple of arsenal fans out there but i wanna say that MAN UTD is still the premier league best team haha...(at least for now).that's all i wanna say for the moment.look fwd to the next match.it'll be a special one for leo and i haha.

by:ronaldinhobest

wee der leong on board

the team (still nameless cb) announced the transfer window signing of custodian edwee wee der leong today. the 20-yr old keeper, formerly of bukit panjang sch team, was released by saf recently last month, and has been unemployed since then, till now. the coup, orchestrated by team manager hoberto mancini, with the help of cesc fatzegas, marks the first time the team has had a pair of steady hands, and has been remarked by the gaffer as 'one of the important signings of the season.'

wee der leong, who only made his decision hours before this report, was quoted saying that he 'was very pleased with his decision,' and in an attempt to be humble 'i don't think i can contribute much except prevent goals from flowing in. that's not very important actually.' he has requested the number 13, and will now compete with occasional keepers gianluigi bobfon and jose leo chulavert for the position between the sticks.

hoberto mancini has confirmed that the wee der leong signing 'will be the only one' during the january transfer window, and has angrily refuted suggestions that his playing days are over.

"hey i'm hoberto mancini now, but doesn't mean i can't be joe ho in the future," said mancini, adding that 'although bob gerrard is injured, we have ample replacements. we aren't like chelsea, and we don't need any shevchenkos and ballacks.'

"i'm very happy with the wee der leong signing, i'm sure he can surpass any crap like cech or lehmann, esp lehmann."


inothernews: star winger cristiano zhipengo is certainly on the mend though. the second most injured player on the team was reported to be healing well, and will soon be available for matches... nemanjang weedic will celebrate his 21st birthday tomorrow... still no news on bob gerrard after his relapse in training yesterday... negotiations for the venue for match vs teamwatchyourfront broke down yesterday due to differences in number of players field.


onaseriousnote: any suggestions? next training session etc. any opponents you guys would like to whack. contribute pls, i running out of things to write.

i think we're getting along very nicely. today's training session was an accomplished one (special thanks to adrian pang lookalike and his gang of merry men), and of course some glitches here and there are inevitable, but the big picture looks positive.

will find some display boards to post here when i have the time, about our possible plays and tactics we would like to adopt and execute in actual play. maybe someone good with IT can help me here, or paint/clipart will suffice.

for the ill-gotten and barely-deserved benefit of those who didn't turn up with valid reasons, we're going to try something more pleasing to the eye. we're going to play like arsenal, even if it means going through a whole barrage of losses. which shouldn't happen, because our defence and attack is a whole lot better. arsenal can't score, but we can. arsenal can't defend, but we can.

after sustaining a near career-ending injury, bob is now officially the team cheerleader until further notice. please give him your support.

before i forget, we procrastinated the team name again. jersey numbers:

yuxian = 20
zhipeng = ?
yew tze = ?
bob = 4
sum = 3
leo = 8
jx = ?
congjing = ?
wee theng = 17
wee leong = ? (subjected to wee leong want to join anot. he didn't give me a definite answer)

match update
team watchyourfront/khc team are pushing for match at amk, which will be a 5v5, street court format which is totally not beneficial to us. unless we are desperate, pertaining the issue we shall leave it to yuxian and leo.