Stepping into the arena was like stepping into one of God's yet another wonderful creation. Faithful crowds, deafening CHANTS and gOTHIC colours. A true renaissance!
The Congregation shared a vision, a future and a love. Not for the team, not for the Game; but A lovely future and vision with God. A dream once shared by Ronnie...
Despite the Fanatics' antics, the team remained undaunted. Following the instructions of Hoberto, the team meditated dutifully on "KillerS" the night before the game . Our enlightenment paid immediate dividends. 7-3. Scores don't lie. Let's get low-down on the "killers" let loose on that bloody day.
Joe Ho: The greatest benefactor of this 'sick' Visualization exercise. Just like the boy who lost his parents in the woods, Ho-nnibal was a man on mission- seek and destroy, feed and enjoy.
COng Scholas: SHy, quiet and good-natured, this "Lolita" was innocent throughout the opening stages. But just like the 1980s flick, once the curtains' down, and the target's exposed & vulnerable,he hits with aplomb & style. Says alot about his cyber activities.
Ronnie: This de-converted bloodhound is a lost flock once again. Just as Jack the Ripper ran down loose women in the streets of London, Tay the Stripper will never let loose balls hang too long along the alleys of Bt Timah.
Fatzegas: Basking in His Love and Glory, the angelic FatzeGAS left the field with his halo intact. In fact, the Lord lent him a hand, deflecting a harmless shot in. Hal-le-lu-jeh!!
Sunday, March 25, 2007
Friday, March 23, 2007
The Outsider - Club Economics
The recent spike in transfer news and covert deals raised many eyebrows, both locally and abroad. The addition of new Nike and Addidas balls to the club's assets placed the club's finances under intense scrutiny, as the club has always practised a prudent fiscal policy. Players play out of goodwill with no wages, no shirt (Ronnie), no boots (Ronnie), no fitness (Tze), no money to eat (Wee der Leong) and no fans. It's been believed that an imminent takeover by yet another mysterious figure is fuelling all these activities. Here's the Outsider's wish list for the players if the deal goes through.
Hoberto Mancini: His schizophrenic personality belies an innate ability to source out and coach promising youngsters to fulfil their destiny. However, when his ailment strikes, he keeps insisting he's Joe Ho. Maybe his love for this club has overwhelmed him. Time for a break, mate. And a psychologist please.
Ronnietay: Baring his heart, soul and BODY doesn't seem to increase gate recipts. Time to put something on, boy. The new owners will do well to dress and doll him up during matches.
Wee der Leong: Inspired by YouTube clips, he told Outsider that he would love to score an 80 yard goal against fellow U-23 rival Wayne, just like Paul Robinson. The New Owners would have loved that, but their immediate task would be to prevent Wee der Leong from being in the unfortunate shoes of Ben Foster (who was Paul's opposite NO.) Just pray more, Amen.
Liang Fardinand: Despite his sporadic appearances, the ease with which he just walks into the team's Bench is ledengary. His undoubted talent is expressed in other areas including tele-marketing, admin work, teaching and logistics. The New Owners would be pleased if the multi-talented Fardinand were to decide that he would work as their staff. Any other takers?
Fatzegas: A simple, uncalculative man. He just hopes for a decent wage and remuneration. $8 per hour, 1.5 times for Late kick-off, Transport reimbursement after 8pm, post-match free flow, and pre-match meditation.
LeO: Leo must have felt his heart tearing when he saw his fan (and the Club’s solitary fan) braving the Arizonian heat to support him. In spite of the on going debate about whether she supports Leo or the Club, the Outsider feels that her passion and love for him and the game warrants reciprocation. A beach umbrella isn’t too much to ask, is it? Besides with it, the receipts will soar at least 100% (based on the present match turn out of 1)
Cristiano zhipengo: The club never seems to get “enough” of him. A watch, alarm clock, organizer, and New Handphone, please.
Walter Sumuel: The Non-travelling Serangoon Man rarely ventures out of NIE for Soccer. If the club doesn’t want to lose away from home, time to invest on a chauffer.
Joe Ho: His chronic back problem is well-documented, and prevented him from playing regularly. The Outsider gathers that it could be due to his daily moonlighting in a place where back-stabbing is prevalent. A physiotherapist please.
Bobby Gerard: The occasional bust-up over financial disagreements has strained his relationship with the rest of the team. A supercomputer will be needed to calculate his financial status to his required accuracy, in order to maintain the hard-won harmony in the Club. Could the new Owners be Bill GateLey, Billionaire with intimate knowledge of the game?
Nemanjang Weedic: This Hot Dancer could use the half-time to dance the Club’s fortunes away from the red. Ballerina shoes, anyone?
Cong Scholes: Lover-ly boy with a lover-ly attitude. He doesn’t need anything from the Club; the Club needs his everything. More Cong Scholes please!
Hoberto Mancini: His schizophrenic personality belies an innate ability to source out and coach promising youngsters to fulfil their destiny. However, when his ailment strikes, he keeps insisting he's Joe Ho. Maybe his love for this club has overwhelmed him. Time for a break, mate. And a psychologist please.
Ronnietay: Baring his heart, soul and BODY doesn't seem to increase gate recipts. Time to put something on, boy. The new owners will do well to dress and doll him up during matches.
Wee der Leong: Inspired by YouTube clips, he told Outsider that he would love to score an 80 yard goal against fellow U-23 rival Wayne, just like Paul Robinson. The New Owners would have loved that, but their immediate task would be to prevent Wee der Leong from being in the unfortunate shoes of Ben Foster (who was Paul's opposite NO.) Just pray more, Amen.
Liang Fardinand: Despite his sporadic appearances, the ease with which he just walks into the team's Bench is ledengary. His undoubted talent is expressed in other areas including tele-marketing, admin work, teaching and logistics. The New Owners would be pleased if the multi-talented Fardinand were to decide that he would work as their staff. Any other takers?
Fatzegas: A simple, uncalculative man. He just hopes for a decent wage and remuneration. $8 per hour, 1.5 times for Late kick-off, Transport reimbursement after 8pm, post-match free flow, and pre-match meditation.
LeO: Leo must have felt his heart tearing when he saw his fan (and the Club’s solitary fan) braving the Arizonian heat to support him. In spite of the on going debate about whether she supports Leo or the Club, the Outsider feels that her passion and love for him and the game warrants reciprocation. A beach umbrella isn’t too much to ask, is it? Besides with it, the receipts will soar at least 100% (based on the present match turn out of 1)
Cristiano zhipengo: The club never seems to get “enough” of him. A watch, alarm clock, organizer, and New Handphone, please.
Walter Sumuel: The Non-travelling Serangoon Man rarely ventures out of NIE for Soccer. If the club doesn’t want to lose away from home, time to invest on a chauffer.
Joe Ho: His chronic back problem is well-documented, and prevented him from playing regularly. The Outsider gathers that it could be due to his daily moonlighting in a place where back-stabbing is prevalent. A physiotherapist please.
Bobby Gerard: The occasional bust-up over financial disagreements has strained his relationship with the rest of the team. A supercomputer will be needed to calculate his financial status to his required accuracy, in order to maintain the hard-won harmony in the Club. Could the new Owners be Bill GateLey, Billionaire with intimate knowledge of the game?
Nemanjang Weedic: This Hot Dancer could use the half-time to dance the Club’s fortunes away from the red. Ballerina shoes, anyone?
Cong Scholes: Lover-ly boy with a lover-ly attitude. He doesn’t need anything from the Club; the Club needs his everything. More Cong Scholes please!
Transfer News
Undisclosed sources confirmed reports that Hoberto tried to sign the Hottest football graduates last year. It emerged from the club's archives that the twin brothers were trained the communist way, with impeccable technique and fantastic stamina. Coupled with telepathic passing and runs, it's little wonder why Hoberto showed keen interest at that time and even now.
The Communist High School (TCHS) which has churned out so many prodigies declined to name its alumni and its present undergrduates , but rumours has it that our Great Hoberto graduated from the Elite Institution too.
Responding to reports on the interest expressed by Hoberto on the Mysterious pair, Fatzegas has re-iliterated his support for his manager.
"Hoberto has the club's interest at heart," he mumbled, "But I can always free lance in the suburb courts. It's been a way of life for me until Hoberto took me in. In fact I must thank him for all the guidance and faith he has shown. "
Sounds suspiciously like a farewell speech.
The Communist High School (TCHS) which has churned out so many prodigies declined to name its alumni and its present undergrduates , but rumours has it that our Great Hoberto graduated from the Elite Institution too.
Responding to reports on the interest expressed by Hoberto on the Mysterious pair, Fatzegas has re-iliterated his support for his manager.
"Hoberto has the club's interest at heart," he mumbled, "But I can always free lance in the suburb courts. It's been a way of life for me until Hoberto took me in. In fact I must thank him for all the guidance and faith he has shown. "
Sounds suspiciously like a farewell speech.
Thursday, March 22, 2007
Spotlight - Wee der Leong
Coming under criticism is nothing new for Wee der Leong. In a bid to save his ailing career as the first-choice custodian and to keep his detractors at bay, Wee der leong called for a private training session with Fatzegas and Bobby Gerrad.
It was a typical display by our Custodian, full of verve and spirit. Due to the woeful finances of the Club, and the absence of a Finance Officer, the sorry state of our Official Match Ball was never addressed (and never will be). It served our Goalie well though, no more tricky balls and rocket shots. However, as time goes by, even the woeful state of the ball did no favours to the Barthez-tic Wee der Leong.
On that 'accidentally disastrous' night, he was thoroughly outfoxed by accidental shots and lobs. Incidentally his brother, a non-league amature was present to rub salt into his wound, when in fact, he's there to boost Wee der Leong's morale.
Though more work has to be done to source even lower league players to train and enhance Wee der Leong's skills and confidence(it proves to be a mammoth task), the Club must be heartened to count such a comitted player among its ranks. "Besides ROnnie's solo escapades, such nocturnal work-outs are the way to go," praised a club official.
Meanwhile, Wee der Leong is still quietly mending his 'accidentally' battered morale, admist the era of glitz and sleaze heralded by ROnnie.
It was a typical display by our Custodian, full of verve and spirit. Due to the woeful finances of the Club, and the absence of a Finance Officer, the sorry state of our Official Match Ball was never addressed (and never will be). It served our Goalie well though, no more tricky balls and rocket shots. However, as time goes by, even the woeful state of the ball did no favours to the Barthez-tic Wee der Leong.
On that 'accidentally disastrous' night, he was thoroughly outfoxed by accidental shots and lobs. Incidentally his brother, a non-league amature was present to rub salt into his wound, when in fact, he's there to boost Wee der Leong's morale.
Though more work has to be done to source even lower league players to train and enhance Wee der Leong's skills and confidence(it proves to be a mammoth task), the Club must be heartened to count such a comitted player among its ranks. "Besides ROnnie's solo escapades, such nocturnal work-outs are the way to go," praised a club official.
Meanwhile, Wee der Leong is still quietly mending his 'accidentally' battered morale, admist the era of glitz and sleaze heralded by ROnnie.
Transfer Talks + Team building
Due to the erratic appearances of our Star player Ronnietay and the subsequent shevchenko-ic performances of our stand-in striker-force, Hoberto Mancini has been toying with the idea of a buying a new striker. Rumours has it that Qiobbie Xiaowler is being mooted to increase our strking options, especially since Ronnie's new culinary and peadophilic interest brings him overseas relatively often.
Qiobbie Xiaowler hails from the sacred grounds of Nfield, and is the prestigeous Academy's proud youth product. His effortless guile on the ball belies the final ball, a deadly venomous shoot, calibrated to sting even our "great" Van der Leong. However like many of his predecessors, he took on the role of the "Spice Boys" . And true to its tradition and spirit, on the pitch performance took a beating.
His fiery temper and nocturnal adventures proves to much for his previous employers at SAFFC. Currently unemployed, he's signing will be a coup. However, Hoberto is wary of him turning "Nameless United" to the "Spice Boyz United".
"I would rather have someone with a great attitude," mumbles Hoberto, "WEe van der leong is the epitome of this spirit. He's the BEST signing I have ever made."
Club officials declined to comment, but Hoberto has been sighted at his office all night, with his computer on. ASked if he's sieving through players' data and analysing scouting reports for potential players, he kept his usual cool.
"I apologize for leaving my com on and zao home. What were you saying?" he asked with a dazed look.
Unnamed souces link yesterday's abnormal Club sightings to Tay's close association with Hoberto recently.
"Recruitment of a girls' team seems to be on the cards now" the anonymous official whispered, "In the name of team-bonding, it seems like a logical step. "
Cesc Fatzegas, who has kept his views private so far, has for the first time supported these recent changes vehemently,
"I am sure under the leadership of Hoberto, the Club will continue to expand, diversify and flourish."
After-thought: Will it flourish as a Soccer club? or a sleazy kind of club?
Qiobbie Xiaowler hails from the sacred grounds of Nfield, and is the prestigeous Academy's proud youth product. His effortless guile on the ball belies the final ball, a deadly venomous shoot, calibrated to sting even our "great" Van der Leong. However like many of his predecessors, he took on the role of the "Spice Boys" . And true to its tradition and spirit, on the pitch performance took a beating.
His fiery temper and nocturnal adventures proves to much for his previous employers at SAFFC. Currently unemployed, he's signing will be a coup. However, Hoberto is wary of him turning "Nameless United" to the "Spice Boyz United".
"I would rather have someone with a great attitude," mumbles Hoberto, "WEe van der leong is the epitome of this spirit. He's the BEST signing I have ever made."
Club officials declined to comment, but Hoberto has been sighted at his office all night, with his computer on. ASked if he's sieving through players' data and analysing scouting reports for potential players, he kept his usual cool.
"I apologize for leaving my com on and zao home. What were you saying?" he asked with a dazed look.
Unnamed souces link yesterday's abnormal Club sightings to Tay's close association with Hoberto recently.
"Recruitment of a girls' team seems to be on the cards now" the anonymous official whispered, "In the name of team-bonding, it seems like a logical step. "
Cesc Fatzegas, who has kept his views private so far, has for the first time supported these recent changes vehemently,
"I am sure under the leadership of Hoberto, the Club will continue to expand, diversify and flourish."
After-thought: Will it flourish as a Soccer club? or a sleazy kind of club?
friendly on 24th mar, saturday
venue: NIE futsal court
match time: 0900
water parade: 0845
opponents: NIE Legends
previous match (02.12.2006): 10-2
here is a rematch, just to remind ourselves not to take everything for granted. we need to prove the previous meeting wasn't a fluke, and that the team is now stronger with the various new additions since last year.
currentsituation: tay might not turn up for the match as he is going to malacca. zp is out with a back injury, leo is never free on sats. bob will be damn shagged due to work commitments, if he turns up at all. so far only waiting for confirmation from wee theng; the remaining are all okay.
opposition: the bulk of them are still present. but one thing is, the strike force of kenny and adrian will be absent. alaric should be playing, so i think we should go for a more offensive formation. unless of course, he reverts to striking, then we'll have to reconsider. other than a couple of guys who might pose physical problems, we should be able to handle.
conclusion: let's do our best. less passing and more clinical finishing please. tay and thengz, please come.
probable line-up: wee leong, sum, liangfa, yewtze, jiaxuan, congjing.
venue: NIE futsal court
match time: 0900
water parade: 0845
opponents: NIE Legends
previous match (02.12.2006): 10-2
here is a rematch, just to remind ourselves not to take everything for granted. we need to prove the previous meeting wasn't a fluke, and that the team is now stronger with the various new additions since last year.
currentsituation: tay might not turn up for the match as he is going to malacca. zp is out with a back injury, leo is never free on sats. bob will be damn shagged due to work commitments, if he turns up at all. so far only waiting for confirmation from wee theng; the remaining are all okay.
opposition: the bulk of them are still present. but one thing is, the strike force of kenny and adrian will be absent. alaric should be playing, so i think we should go for a more offensive formation. unless of course, he reverts to striking, then we'll have to reconsider. other than a couple of guys who might pose physical problems, we should be able to handle.
conclusion: let's do our best. less passing and more clinical finishing please. tay and thengz, please come.
probable line-up: wee leong, sum, liangfa, yewtze, jiaxuan, congjing.
Monday, March 19, 2007
alright lets forget about soccer for the time being. why don't we organise a trip to malacca and have some portuguese crusine? if we're crazy enough, can bring a soccer ball and train there (not sure if the altitude is high enough for some serious practice) but i rather we grow fat on fish and chips there, which according to tay, is sinful.
come on dudes. team bonding time!
come on dudes. team bonding time!
Monday, March 05, 2007
behold the team jersey
unveiling the team jersey.. sponsored by nike but paid for by us.
after much contemplation, unruly disputes, cries of mutiny, and even a match to decide the outcome, everything was settled thanks to the following key words: 'nike costs 27 bucks, nike is cheaper la.'
bob and yewtze both raised a good point though - white isn't distinctive enough. despite the classy look, i forsee problems with future match-ups; unless we qie the legends every week, most teams wear white. maybe we can get the pink t-shirts from royal sporting house - they cost about ten bucks each - as an away kit.
anyone free tomorrow to put the order?
can someone be treasurer? (i vote yewtze, despite him being the guardian of the chui golden orb)
Sunday, March 04, 2007
match report
score: Hornyteam 2 [Name]Less 2
scorers: zhipeng 2
attendance: 19.000
report: tay had a last minute commitment, and liangfa already said he wasn't free. but the rest turned up in what was the highest attendance since.. we formed this team, which is definitely something to be very happy about. had a few things to try out, which went through, all with varying degrees of success.
the team started off with wee leong as keep, sum and wee theng finally forming the much anticipated defensive partnership, bob as the dm in front of them. congjing took on the forward position, while yewtze played in the free role just behind him.
some things need to be experimented, but surely the backline was not one of them. complementing each other seems to be somewhat of an understatement; sum was freed for once to assist in the attack, while wee theng proved to be the rock, albeit an angry one. bob was his usual steady self, yt pesky, cj calm and composed. but finishing has always been a problem, and so it proved after we missed quite a host of chances. the opposition missed their fair share too, and there was some desperate defending from both sides.
zhipeng and leonard and leonard's girlfriend finally arrived ten minutes into the match. zp took the field after the twenty minute mark, as cj took a breather. the pace was now relatively fast-paced, with the horny dudes pegging us back for long periods. half time approached, with the scores still at nil-nil.
it must be said that horny keeper wayne proved to be a huge barrier literally, blocking goal-bound shots time and time again, while horny defender ka yun was always in the right place and right time to deny us. something special was needed.
it was a mistake from the defence that allowed the tall hornyteam dude to sneak in a shot, which slithered beneath the despairing lunge of wee leong. it must be noted that the sum-wt partnership wasn't there, because leo had subbed on for sum. it was not leo's fault however, as he had already made a foolhardy attempt to kiap the ball. but wee leong couldn't really be blamed either as the ball was so tricky that any keeper would have been fooled. so it's that tall guy's fault for mishiting the ball. anyway we were one-nil down.
after a few exciting exchanges which i can't really recall, the situation looked bleak. the sun was shining brightly, the heat was unbearable at times. then zhipeng, who had been repeatedly hacked down for nearly the whole match, took an unexpected swing at the ball, which eluded the whole horny defence including the huge keeper wayne, and GOAL! what a beauty it was, and i have to use caps and bold to emphasize. top right hand corner, with the venom of a pissed zp. game on.
there wasn't much time left, hence after some half-hearted negotiation between the two team managers, extra time was played. zp scored a lucky goal, sum and leo clashed to score hornyteam's game tying goal, and then jx came on for a five minute cameo. shit this is damn draggy la.
menofthematch: wee theng and sum
shared the award after a great defensive performance. the tenacity, technique, and most importantly mutual trust was there for all to see.
quoteofthematch: "i think tay is better after all.. holy crap i take it back" jx's indecisiveness shows 0.54s after zp's wonder goal.
conclusion: the only question now is, whether the defence is going to show up every week like this. if so, things can only get better.
score: Hornyteam 2 [Name]Less 2
scorers: zhipeng 2
attendance: 19.000
report: tay had a last minute commitment, and liangfa already said he wasn't free. but the rest turned up in what was the highest attendance since.. we formed this team, which is definitely something to be very happy about. had a few things to try out, which went through, all with varying degrees of success.
the team started off with wee leong as keep, sum and wee theng finally forming the much anticipated defensive partnership, bob as the dm in front of them. congjing took on the forward position, while yewtze played in the free role just behind him.
some things need to be experimented, but surely the backline was not one of them. complementing each other seems to be somewhat of an understatement; sum was freed for once to assist in the attack, while wee theng proved to be the rock, albeit an angry one. bob was his usual steady self, yt pesky, cj calm and composed. but finishing has always been a problem, and so it proved after we missed quite a host of chances. the opposition missed their fair share too, and there was some desperate defending from both sides.
zhipeng and leonard and leonard's girlfriend finally arrived ten minutes into the match. zp took the field after the twenty minute mark, as cj took a breather. the pace was now relatively fast-paced, with the horny dudes pegging us back for long periods. half time approached, with the scores still at nil-nil.
it must be said that horny keeper wayne proved to be a huge barrier literally, blocking goal-bound shots time and time again, while horny defender ka yun was always in the right place and right time to deny us. something special was needed.
it was a mistake from the defence that allowed the tall hornyteam dude to sneak in a shot, which slithered beneath the despairing lunge of wee leong. it must be noted that the sum-wt partnership wasn't there, because leo had subbed on for sum. it was not leo's fault however, as he had already made a foolhardy attempt to kiap the ball. but wee leong couldn't really be blamed either as the ball was so tricky that any keeper would have been fooled. so it's that tall guy's fault for mishiting the ball. anyway we were one-nil down.
after a few exciting exchanges which i can't really recall, the situation looked bleak. the sun was shining brightly, the heat was unbearable at times. then zhipeng, who had been repeatedly hacked down for nearly the whole match, took an unexpected swing at the ball, which eluded the whole horny defence including the huge keeper wayne, and GOAL! what a beauty it was, and i have to use caps and bold to emphasize. top right hand corner, with the venom of a pissed zp. game on.
there wasn't much time left, hence after some half-hearted negotiation between the two team managers, extra time was played. zp scored a lucky goal, sum and leo clashed to score hornyteam's game tying goal, and then jx came on for a five minute cameo. shit this is damn draggy la.
menofthematch: wee theng and sum
shared the award after a great defensive performance. the tenacity, technique, and most importantly mutual trust was there for all to see.
quoteofthematch: "i think tay is better after all.. holy crap i take it back" jx's indecisiveness shows 0.54s after zp's wonder goal.
conclusion: the only question now is, whether the defence is going to show up every week like this. if so, things can only get better.
Saturday, March 03, 2007
update less than 24 hrs later
tay is not coming due to personal matters. zhipeng is not replying hopefully due to personal matters.
people turning up - congjing, wee theng, sum, yewtze, wee leong, leonard, bob
that makes 8 of us.
people confirm not turning up - yuxian, liangfa
person not confirm turning up or not - zhipeng
let's just cross our fingers and hope nothing happens to the 8.
people turning up - congjing, wee theng, sum, yewtze, wee leong, leonard, bob
that makes 8 of us.
people confirm not turning up - yuxian, liangfa
person not confirm turning up or not - zhipeng
let's just cross our fingers and hope nothing happens to the 8.
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